I'm Back!

It has been a long time since I paid attention to blogging. Life just got in the way. So to restart I would like to share what has been happening. In 2016, my daughter started with headaches and as the mom I tried to find reasons for it. Contributed it to a hectic schedule with school, dance, band, long hours not enough sleep, not eating right, and needing her eyes checked. We went for an eye appointment and it turned out she did need glasses. Her headaches were better but never really went away, but on the same hand she still had a very busy schedule. She had headaches but they were never more than one a week and went away with headache medicine. Fast forward to Thanksgiving break 2017, we were in New York for the Macy's Day Parade where her dance studio was going to be part of the Spirit of America dance team. My daughter developed a horrible headache on Thanksgiving Day, again I contributed it to up early, breakfast on the go, excitement of the event, a busy & hectic schedule we had since arriving. With a little food and sleep the headache weakened in intensity but never really went away. We get home from NY and she continues to have headaches, she has a daily one from Thanksgiving day until Jan 3. The morning of January 3 she wakes up with such a horrible headache that it hurt to open her eyes, close her eyes, lift her head, turn her head,light hurt her worse, as well as sound, & there was no explaining it away. I loaded her up and went to the Doctor, because of her light sensitivity they automatically wanted to treat her for migraines. I requested more tests! Yes, I became that mother that the nurses and doctors often roll their eyes out. But I knew there was something more going on than a migraine. And I wanted more tests-so they did. The first one was a blood test that showed elevated white blood cells. They also wanted to do an CT scan to rule out anything else going on. We went on Monday for it only to find that it was changed to a MRI and that it would take 24 to 48 hours to hear about the results. It was barely an hour before the Doctor and I were playing phone tag, we played phone tag until closing. I know now that God had stepped in and said "Not now." You see I was driving with my daughter home from the appointment; just the two of us. So Tuesday morning the Doctor calls my cell phone while I am with our sewing group that is filled with praying Christian women. And God knew that I would need them with me to help prepare me for the rest of the day . The first words out of the Doctor's mouth was; "I'm sorry. I thought you were one of those Mom's but God gives us a Mommy gut and we should always follow it. The test results were ready yesterday immediately after you left. I hate to inform you but your daughter has a significant mass on her right frontal lobe and we are trying to get her into a specialist but right now it looks like it will be the week of March 15, 2017." Okay, wait a minute, you just told me she has a significant mass and now are saying we have to wait until March to see a specialist. Those were my thoughts, I don't remember ever speaking it. She told me they had a few more calls out and once they heard back from all of them she would call me back. What happened from here on out was ALL God! Sewing halted on our project for the day, and prayer started. With in 30 minutes the Doctor was calling me back to tell me that it looked like March was going to be the first available appointment with a specialist. While she was explaining and giving me details her nurse interrupted her with another specialist on the line that could see her in 2 weeks. We took it! God made it happen. After the appointment call I knew I needed to make a few calls. The first was to her dad who was working out of town at the time. One of the hardest calls I had to make. He made arrangements to be home for her appointments and his company even brought him home during the whole process. When I returned home from sewing my oldest was on the front porch swing and asked if I had spoken with my daughters doctor yet. I just thought the call was hard-the next few hours proved to be even harder. When I told my oldest son about his baby sister he got mad. Her second brother simply cried and asked why. But the one I dreaded most telling was her. Again, what happened next was simply God! I made her sit down and told her that the results were back from her MRI and that we would be seeing a specialist in 2 weeks;that she had a significant mass on her right frontal lobe and we would have to wait to see what the specialist said. She cried for only a moment, wiped her tears, looked up at me and said, "God's got this!" From the very beginning she claimed victory in His name. I can't tell you that there were no more tears, or questions about why, or even regrets for me not taking her sooner to the doctor instead of rationalizing the headaches. There were questions like Why Me? Was there something I could have done different so I wouldn't have this? One night we were talking and she asked Mommma, why did God choose me? I simply asked her why not her....she simply shrugged and smiled at me and said, "Yea, why not me?" We saw the first specialist and he looked at us and stated that he wanted to refer us to a partner that had more experience with this type of tumor. Thank God that he knew his own limits! We saw the second specialist, had her braces removed, had more tests done, and had surgery on March 7, 2017. God paved the road to make all of this happen since her first appointment with a specialist was the week of March 15, 2017. From the very first day we found out about the tumor we had our church family praying, family and friends. Word spread fast which made the circle of prayer faster. The morning of her surgery the nurse attending to her for all the prep told her that she had been praying for her, my daughter had been put on her church's prayer list. She even stayed as our pastor prayed over my daughter prior to surgery. What was supposed to be a 6 to 8 hour surgery ended up being a 12 hour surgery. We were told that there were two things that could happen while she was on the table. One being a stroke and the second that she would have paralysis (facial and optic); the second happened. Her neurosurgeon said we wouldn't know how bad it would be until swelling went down and healing started. The surgery took longer because the tumor wasn't just on the top, it had dropped between her nerves, optical and hearing, and started growing together under the nerves. She would be in ICU at least 24 hours and we would have an MRI every 3 months for the next 3 years. He warned us that she was swollen due to the position they had her in and for the length of time they had her in it. But seeing her was one of the most precious moments in my life. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about seeing her. Again, God showed up and showed out! We were in ICU for less than 24 hours. She wasn't supposed to move her head because it would make her head hurt worse from the massive headache she would wake up with-she woke up headache free. We spent a week in the hospital and was released with a sheet load of doctor appointments. I can tell you that the enemy tried his hardest to intervene but God was having none of it! She was progressing nicely, all but her eye. Scars were healing, hearing was good, but she had no control over her right eye. She couldn't move it, couldn't cry out of it, and couldn't see well out of it. When see went back for her six week check up and heard her doctor say that if there was no improvement by now, it probably never would get better. I saw defeat in my daughter that day! A daughter that from the very beginning said that God had this! As I watched her cry out of her one eye, I prayed for God to give me what to say that she needed to hear. I got up, her doctor moved away, and I made her look at me. I asked her who she belonged to...she told me; "Well, you momma." I said, "No, who do you belong to?" She said, "God". I told her she was right. She was a daughter of a King and He wasn't done with her yet. Not to believe the lies of the devil and to straighten her crown and let God do what only God could do. She did! I can tell you her eye is healing nicely. All of her doctors are amazed and contribute her recovery to God. There is no medical reason for it. We have been blessed that through this journey we have had praying people in our lives, believers working on her, and a test that is one amazing testimony that points to the One Living God. So as one mom to another, I can tell you to trust your "momma gut". God gave us a momma gene for a reason, trust it. Never beat yourself up looking back on a situation; you weren't at the end of the story and couldn't see everything that you see now. Trust God-He is still in the business of miracles. I know because I see it everyday in my daughter. Our journey isn't over. She is still healing but I can tell you that our God is still showing up and showing out. We are post surgery almost 1.5 years and our MRI that was supposed to be every 3 months for the next 3 years are now every 6 months since her last appointment. Looking at her you can't even tell she had any paralysis unless you are face to face with her and looking hard at her eyes. I can't tell you what's next but I can tell you without a doubt that whatever it is, God will be there. I will walk by faith even when I cannot see- 2 Corinthians 5:7 God promises to make something good out of the storms that bring devastation to your life- Romans 8:28